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March 23, 2007
Jonathan Eller - Editing Ray Bradbury

 

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      These notes identify significant points of variation between versions of the story texts, and also describe problematic passages where missing words or content errors required editorial attention. Obvious typing mis-strikes or spelling errors, as well as unacceptable and distracting grammatical errors, are generally emended without comment here. Draft passages quoted in these notes are also silently corrected. The complete list of emendations is maintained by Indiana University’s Center for Ray Bradbury Studies, located in the Institute for American Thought on the Indianapolis campus. Each entry is keyed to the page and line numbers of the texts in this edition, followed by an anchoring word or phrase of text that clearly identifies the word or passage under discussion.
—JE

“The Reincarnate”

83.13 your womb] The two overt references to the womb in this paragraph are softened to “birthplace” in Bradbury’s 2005 anthology revisions. A coffin-womb is also central to his 1947 Weird Tales story “Interim”; such allusions in his early professional work prompted Tony Boucher to refer jokingly to his “back-to-the-womb” fantasies during this period (Eller and Touponce, Ray Bradbury: The Life of Fiction, 91).

83.15 Earth’s billion insect hearts.] Here and at 87.2, Bradbury is specifically referring to the planet Earth rather than to the earth of the grave, but has not capitalized the word at either point. Earth is capitalized in the present edition for clarity of presentation.

84.20–22 Remember…agony.] This remarkable extension of the metaphor from burning paper to an image of burning books was deleted from the 2005 Dark Delicacies text.

85.33–86.10 “Yes…others?”] Bradbury deleted almost half of the dead man’s call to rebellion for the Dark Delicacies text.

86.17–18 while we lie recumbent and full of disintegrating and helpless passion!] This sharp contrastive is significantly muted in the Dark Delicacies text and reduced to read “while we are abandoned.”

86.28–29 You yourself are bitter…tonight.] In a key revision, Bradbury deleted the dead man’s assumption that the Reincarnate is motivated only by the tyranny of the living.

87.2–3 If it was a hot night…condition.] For publication, Bradbury deleted this passage and other obvious statements that the reader could infer from the surrounding context, i.e., that the “coolness upon the Earth tonight” preserves the Reincarnate’s body.

87.16–28 Inside…shock to Kim.] In the published version, Bradbury eliminated the Reincarnate’s recollection of dinners at Grandma’s boarding house, and compressed the description of his approach to the house where his widow, Kim, lives with her parents. This is typical of the way he carefully condensed the story to its essentials in preparing the Dark Delicacies text.

95.10–16 “Faith,” she whispers,…“Have faith,…There is compensation for you somewhere.”] In preparing the Dark Delicacies revisions, Bradbury eliminated this rather obvious set-up for the story’s closing reverie.

95.24–32 You walk…to capture.] In revision, Bradbury effectively reduced this myriad (and at times confusing) series of sensory losses to a single sensation: “Then you walk, finally, in half-darkness, trying to see people, trying to smell any lilacs that still might be out there.”

96.3–6 That means Kim, too. Kim and the baby…Just like you.] In the published text, Bradbury deleted this passage, leaving the implied threat to the Reincarnate’s family unspoken but nevertheless clear to the reader.

97.6–98.2 The coffin is now…“Kim! Kim! Oh, Kim!”] The importance of the Reincarnate’s rebirth reverie is clear from the way that Bradbury revised it for the 2005 Dark Delicacies anthology text. He re-wrote nearly every sentence, yet cut none of the images and sensations. It is one of the few places in the revised story text that he did not condense the original unpublished draft of 1943–44.

“Pillar of Fire”

103.25 last man on Earth?] Planet Stories editors failed to capitalize Earth where Bradbury is referring to the planet rather than the earth of the grave. Here and at 102.1, direct references to the planet Earth are correctly capitalized in Bradbury’s subsequent story collections as well as the present edition.

121.2 biggest damned firecracker] The expletive was removed from this phrase by Doubleday editors in order to conform with the Young Reader guidelines used in editing S Is for Space (1966).

“The Library”

141.27 the Niebelungen, the Machens] The very preliminary first draft (the only known form of this story) reads “the Neibluenging [sic] and glegkd, the Machens…” Context and the surrounding key pattern on the typewriter keyboard suggest that the nonce word may have been intended to be “Grimms,” but this is pure speculation and the original word is long lost from memory. Even this very tenuous reconstruction assumes one or more typing transpositions in addition to the general misalignment of keystrokes. With no probable identification for this literary allusion, it has been emended out of the text.

143.12–15 He went down…pace.”] This alternate ending appears a few lines below what appears to be Bradbury’s original ending for the story. Bradbury’s preference is not clear, and therefore both endings are presented in the present edition.

“Bright Phoenix”

149.14–16 I tore a page from demosthenes,…rolled it…lit it, puffed it,] In the original 1949–50 draft, this action contains two different literary allusions: a second waiter takes on the identity of Demosthenes, and delivers the quotation; the narrator-librarian then rolls, lights and smokes a page from Kipling’s “Gunga Din” and recites the final line of the poem. The Kipling allusion disappears from the finished version.

151.28–32 The old man…”Good evening, Isaiah,” I said.] In the preliminary 1949–50 draft, the old man is identified as Socrates, and he delivers no lines. The final version’s shift in identity to the prophet Isaiah broadens the range of Book People in a way that anticipates the Fahrenheit core texts. The Socrates identity is shifted to the narrator-librarian, who had closed the story as Shelley in the preliminary draft.

“The Mad Wizards of Mars”

168.2 this is the year 2120,] The date is inconsistent with a later allusion to books being outlawed “a century ago, in the year 2067…” This inconsistency appears in the Maclean’s first printing and the F&SF reprint; it was corrected in Derleth’s Beyond Space and Time by changing the date of the Mars mission to 2167. For The Illustrated Man, Bradbury kept the date of the mission at 2120 but re-dated Earth’s book-burning era to 2020.

168.18 Tales of Mystery and Imagination,] The Maclean’s first printing styled all titles, regardless of genre, in quotation marks. But in the context of the story, each title represents a futuristic book-length edition, and in all subsequent republications supervised by Bradbury all titles in the story’s two “catalog” recitations of books were correctly styled in italics. The present edition also italicizes all title allusions in these two lists and corrects erroneous titles, but otherwise follows the original Maclean’s text in its entirety. Corrected titles are identified in textual notes.

168.20–24 Rappaccini’s Daughter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne…The Weird Shadow Over Innsmouth, by H.P. Lovecraft.] For Beyond Space and Time, editor August Derleth apparently persuaded Bradbury to change the titles (but not the authors) in four instances: Hawthorne’s Mosses from an Old Manse; Bierce’s Can Such Things Be?; The Empty House, by Algernon Blackwood; and The Outsider and Others, by H. P. Lovecraft. The Outsider and Others was the first Lovecraft title published by Derleth for his Arkham House imprint, and he would have considered it a better allusion than The Shadow Over Innsmouth. The F&SF text retains Bradbury’s original titles for these authors, as do all subsequent Bradbury story collections containing this story.

168.23–24 The Weird Shadow Over Innsmouth,] The original Maclean’s printing reads The Horror at Innsmouth, perhaps an unintentional conflation of Lovecraft’s The Horror at Redhook and The Shadow Over Innsmouth. The error was corrected (perhaps by Boucher) to reflect the original 1936 Lovecraft title in the F&SF version of “The Exiles,” but for The Illustrated Man Bradbury revised to The Weird Shadow Over Innsmouth, the title of the 1944 first paperback edition of this Lovecraft work; this reading remains in all subsequent Bradbury collections containing “The Exiles.” Clearly, Bradbury’s final intention for the Lovecraft title surfaced very early on—during the summer of 1950, less than a year after the Maclean’s first printing, he was lightly revising “The Exiles” for The Illustrated Man. Of the two correct forms, The Weird Shadow Over Innsmouth is more reliably Bradbury’s, and is emended into the present edition.

169.3 the castle] Bradbury changed Poe’s Usheresque castle headquarters to L. Frank Baum’s Emerald City in all subsequent published versions of the story.

169.16–17 Othello, Lear,] these allusions remain in the Beyond Space and Time anthology text, but are replaced by an allusion to Puck in F&SF and all subsequent versions of the story.

169.20–169.21 Mr. Ambrose Bierce,…flame.] At Tony Boucher’s suggestion, Bradbury revised Bierce’s characterization for the F&SF reprint: “Mr. Ambrose Bierce, sitting very idly there, lighting matches and watching them burn down, whistling under his breath, now and then laughing to himself.” A few lines later, also in revision, Bierce will “merrily” glance up from the flame. This revised characterization is not in Beyond Space and Time, but it remained in subsequent versions of the text.

169.22 Mr. Hawthorne now,”] After discussing the Hawthorne visit with Tony Boucher, Bradbury decided to replace the Poe-Hawthorne episode with a Poe-Dickens encounter in the F&SF version. Hawthorne remained in Beyond Space and Time, but the Dickens revisions replace the original reading in all subsequent versions.

170.20–21 “…guts?” ¶ Poe swayed, faintly drunk] The passage is unchanged in Beyond Space and Time, but in F&SF and subsequent versions, Poe’s characterization becomes more manic, as seen in this expanded passage: “‘…guts? It should be quite a war. I shall sit on the sidelines and be the scorekeeper. So many Earthmen boiled in oil, so many Mss. Found in Bottles burnt, so many Earth Men stabbed with needles, so many Red deaths put to flight by a battery of hypodermic syringes—ha!’ ¶ Poe swayed angrily, faintly drunk…”

170.32 Blackwood.] Algernon Blackwood joins Poe and Bierce at this point in all versions except Beyond Space and Time, where Arthur Machen becomes the third spirit.

170.34–35 said Mr. Bierce. ¶ They] For the F&SF reprint, Bradbury added a whimsical encounter with H. P. Lovecraft as Poe, Bierce and Blackwood make their way to visit Dickens (an F&SF substitution for Hawthorne). Bradbury was not satisfied with this long 600-word parody of Lovecraft and deleted it from all further versions. Bradbury retained the Dickens encounter, which provided similar humorous relief.

171.33–173.29 Mr. Hawthorne…“I will help you.”] With the exception of Beyond Space and Time, the Hawthorne passage was replaced by an encounter with Charles Dickens in all subsequent versions of the tale.

173.8 in the year 2067,] Beginning with The Illustrated Man version of the story, the date inconsistency at this point is corrected by changing the date of the great Book Burning to 2020. See also note at 164.5 (this is the year 2120).

173.30 They hurried along] To this point in the Maclean’s first printing, Poe has been accompanied by Ambrose Bierce and Algernon Blackwood. In Beyond Space and Time, Bierce and Arthur Machen had been Poe’s lieutenants. In the F&SF version and all subsequent texts, Bierce and Blackwood are replaced at this point by Machen and A. E. Coppard. The armies of Othello and Macbeth also disappear from the marshalling forces of fantasy in the F&SF revisions.

174.15 Hawthorne brooded] In the F&SF and subsequent texts, Hawthorne’s long reverie is transferred to Coppard.

174.35 wondered Hawthorne,] These lines are given to Poe in the F&SF revisions.

175.8–16 “Has Dickens…everyone.] In the Maclean’s first printing, Dickens is scoffed as a dabbler in fantasy whose works (except for A Christmas Carol) have survived on Earth. The F&SF revisions bring Dickens into the fantasy fold, and this superseded reference to the original characterization of Dickens was deleted.

176.5 murmured Hawthorne.] These lines are given to Blackwood in the F&SF revisions.

177.17 The Willows,] In Derleth’s Beyond Space and Time, Blackwood’s famous tale is replaced by the broader scope of The Lost Valley [and Other Stories] (1910).

177.17–18 Behold the Dreamer,] The Maclean’s first printing erroneously typeset the title of this 1939 Walter de la Mare anthology as two works, “Behold” and “The Dreamer.” The F&SF version sustained the error; the Beyond Space and Time anthology text partially corrected the allusion to Behold, the Dreamer, but the Illustrated Man text (set from the heavily revised F&SF version) restores the full error. The correct title, lacking only the final exclamation point, finally appears in the R Is for Rocket version (1966), and remains in subsequent Bradbury collections. The final punctuation has been added for the present edition.

178.20 Usher, I think it was.] In the F&SF revisions, Poe’s House of Usher is replaced by Baum’s Emerald City as the center of the fantasy authors’ last stand on Mars.

“Carnival of Madness”

181.7 2249 A.D.] The Thrilling Wonder Stories first printing’s leader line gives a seemingly erroneous date: “Rebellion flares when fantasy is banned in 2229!” This is a reference to the year when literature was banned, twenty years before the original date of the story, and is actually correct. For The Martian Chronicles, Bradbury recalibrated the date of the tale to fit in with the book’s chronology of colonization: April 2005.

182.21 A puzzling job.] In re-casting the story as a Martian chronicle, Bradbury replaced this sentence with the following new context: “Thank the Lord you had your own private rockets or we’d never have been allowed to bring most of the equipment through.”

182.23–24 Not…left!] In revision for The Martian Chronicles, Bradbury changed the sentence to read: “Not a snake, a frog, or Martian fly left!”

182.32–34 Somewhere…land.] For the Chronicles, Bradbury revised the passage to fit the new planetary setting and date: “Somewhere it was the month of April on the planet Mars, a yellow month with a blue sky. Somewhere above, the rockets burned down to civilize a beautifully dead planet.”

183.10 That’s four centuries back.] This sentence disappears from all Chronicles texts to match the new date; to compensate, the Great Fire in the next sentence receives its own date anchor in the new time sequence: “That’s thirty years ago—1975.”

183.16 Centuries ago] The reset dates for the Chronicles led to this revision: “In 1950 and ’60…”

183.17 controlling books and, of course, films,] For The Martian Chronicles, Bradbury revised to show a more insidious movement toward censorship, beginning with niche-market readers: “They began by controlling books of cartoons and then detective books and, of course, films,…” The inclusion of cartoon books obliquely anticipates Dr. Wertham’s crusade against the comic book industry, which began just a few years later.

184.26–28 “I’m going to show…Mr. Poe.] Bradbury harshly extended Stendahl’s soliloquy for the Chronicles: “I came to Mars to get away from you Clean-Minded people, but you’re flocking in thicker every day, like flies to offal. So I’m going to show you. I’m going to teach you a fine lesson for what you did to Mr. Poe on Earth.”

185.1 The irritated man] In revision for the Chronicles, Bradbury added a new exchange of dialog between Stendahl and Garrett before Garrett shows his identification card; the new passage establishes the arrival, a week earlier, of the “Moral Climate people” on Mars.

190.8–9 good clean citizens, every one! And what is more, friends!] At this point in the text, Bradbury’s longest revision for the Chronicles version adds significantly to his original description of the repressive elite:
…good clean citizens, every one, who had waited until the rough men had come up and buried the Martians and cleansed the cities and built the towns and repaired the highways and made everything safe. And, then, with everything well on its way to Safety, the Spoil-Funs, the people with mercurochrome for blood and iodine-colored eyes, came now to set up their Moral Climates and dole out goodness to everyone. And they were his friends!”

“Bonfire”

202.17 locust] The fanzine misreading (“lucast”) was corrected in the 1991 Gauntlet 2 reprinting, which represents the first professional publication of the tale.

202.17 Jena,] Two of the four musical titles in this sentence (Jena and La Valse) were raised to all capitals in the original fanzine publication; the other two were not styled at all. In drafts and correspondence, Bradbury normally used capital or small capital letters to indicate italicization; in the present edition, as in the 1991 Gauntlet 2 reprinting, all four titles are styled italic for clarity and consistency.

“The Cricket on the Hearth”

219.Title Cricket on the Hearth] Bradbury’s coversheet includes a holograph note in his hand indicating that the story was written between September 26th and 29th, 1951.

 “The Pedestrian”

253.4 Mr. Leonard Mead] The name of the pedestrian reflects this story’s close creative connections to “The Fireman” and Fahrenheit 451, whose protagonist is named Leonard Montag. But there are other analogs; Leonard (Leo) was also the Christian name of Bradbury’s father.

253.8 A.D. 2131,] In revising for The Golden Apples of the Sun (1953), Bradbury reset the date of the story to a century after first publication—2052 A.D. This created a contradiction later in the tale, where the date of “last year’s election” had also been reset to 2052. The error carried over into Twice Twenty-Two (1966), but Doubleday’s Young Adult editors were more vigilant in preparing “The Pedestrian” for inclusion in S Is for Space (1966). For this volume (and the 1990 edition of Classsic Sories 2), the date at this point was correctly recalibrated to read 2053.

254.3–6 For…time.] Bradbury may have decided, in retrospect, that this passage gave away too much too early in the story. In all later published versions, he moved the substance of this passage six paragraphs further into the narrative (250.32–251.3).

255.18–19 a year ago, 2130,] In all subsequent versions of the story, Bradbury reset the date of this event (one year in the past of the main action) to 2052 A.D.

 “The Garbage Collector”

265.1 ground beef] Bradbury corrected the Nation reading (“ground beer”) in his revisions for The Golden Apples of the Sun story collection (1953).

“The Smile”

267.1–29 In the town…wealth.] A single leaf from the Ignorant Armies grouping of novel fragments, dating from approximately 1947, contains an early and very approximate draft of this passage from “The Smile.”

270.29–271.33 At last…confetti.] Two continuous fragment leaves from the 1947 Ignorant Armies nest represent a very early version of the Mona Lisa desecration scene that stands at the center of “The Smile.” These leaves contain a parallel but somewhat distanced variation, without the boy who is at the center of the narrative of “The Smile.”

272.5–33 At sunset…morning] Bradbury used a shorter, early draft of this closing scene as a tentative closing chapter for the 1947 Ignorant Armies novel project. The story was reintegrated as a stand-alone narrative when the larger project was abandoned.

"Where Ignorant Armies Clash by Night"

The major points of textual commentary concerning the facsimile leaves of Ignorant Armies are located in the editorial bridges inserted between each of the major fragment runs of text.

292.32–34 He plans with Francion…together into one community.] Along with the earlier episodes of book destruction, the Francione episode and its references to “the people who are the books, with the books held in their minds” represents the closest episodic anticipation of “The Fireman” that survives in the Ignorant Armies fragments. Unfortunately, almost none of the narrative survives from this episode. The name Francione was a Bradbury favorite. It is the name of his long-time friend, the daughter of Madame Man’Ha Garreau-Dombasle, whom he had met only two years earlier during his autumn 1945 trip through Mexico. They met during a graveyard tour of Janitzio in Lake Patzcuaro. He would later name his third daughter Bettina Francione Bradbury in honor of this enduring friendship. The Francione character appears to be a forerunner of Clarisse, the key to Montag’s redemption in “The Fireman” and Fahrenheit 451.

300.12 Of all things, never to have been born is best.] This underlying coda of the Ignorant Armies project is also the title of the only stand-alone story surviving within the fragment nachlass. For a discussion of the use of this phrase by Leigh Brackett and her close mentoring connection with Bradbury, see the discussion in the volume’s textual essay, “Writing by Degrees.”

321.1–25 “The sea…furl’d.] Bradbury’s typescript of the first three and a half stanzas of Mathew Arnold’s “Dover Beach” may have continued to its conclusion, but the next leaf has not been located among the Ignorant Armies fragments. Several points of punctuation vary from the text he is known to have consulted, Louis Untermeyer’s A Treasury of Great Poems (NY: Simon & Schuster, 1942), but the typescript also agrees with the Untermeyer text at points where other anthologies vary. There was no definitive edition of Arnold’s poems until 1950.

335.2–7 dover beach…Louis Untermeyer.] Bradbury’s typewritten note on this fragment conclusion provides the main evidence for Bradbury’s source of the poem. For a discussion of Bradbury’s regard for Untermeyer and their later editorial connections, see the volume’s textual essay, “Writing by degrees,” and relevant notes.

336.1 Dear Miss Gauss:] A final version of this letter, intended for Harper’s Magazine fiction editor Katherine Gauss, has not been located. Bradbury was known to the Harper’s editorial staff, and had just published “The Man Upstairs” in the March 1947 issue.

“Long After Midnight”

349.1–350.1 Mr. Montag dreamed…black eyebrows.] A preliminary two-page draft of the opening paragraphs is also preserved within the “Long After Midnight” typescript photocopy.

349.1–352.23 Mr. Montag dreamed…They caught her.] Another opening sequence (consisting of five consecutive leaves) survives within the typescript photocopy. It post-dates the main “Long After Midnight” typescript, and may consist of pages discarded from the unlocated revised text that Bradbury sent to his New York agent in September 1950 for re-typing and circulation. Many points of revision in this five-page run are closer to readings in “The Fireman”; key points include the variant Fireman name “Stoneman.” Although it post-dates the main typescript sequence, Forry Ackerman placed these pages at the top of the entire typescript while he owned it; the top margin of the first leaf is annotated (in Ackerman’s hand): “xeroxed from the original ms. for Donn Albright.”

350.30–35 Yes, Mr. Montag’s mind said…his wife.] Bradbury soon came to realize that this passage gave away too much too early in the “Long After Midnight” narrative. His surviving post-typescript opening revisions, as well as the subsequent “Fireman” published text, lack this passage entirely. In this way, Bradbury’s revisions allow Montag to hide the cause of his unease from readers as well as from the other Firemen. In fact, his secret habit of taking books is not revealed until much later in the novella. This deletion represents the first stage in a significant process of revision—by the time he expands “The Fireman” yet again to create Fahrenheit 451, the firehouse scene is eliminated and Montag seems to epitomize the novel’s opening line: “It was a pleasure to burn.” His unease doesn’t surface at all until he encounters Clarisse McClellan.

353.21 Leahy glared] The typescript reading (“Healy”) is not a revision, but simply the result of a keyboarding transposition.

356.23–357.5 “Mildred,…again and again.] One of the four surviving holograph leaves within the typescript photocopy contains a version of this passage in Bradbury’s hand. Collation suggests that it predates the typescript.

358.1–3 That might…young girl?] A very preliminary three-page holograph run of text survives in Bradbury’s hand, beginning with this passage. It is continuous, but dates from an early period before the next three pages of typescript text (351.32–353.30) had been composed. Instead, the holograph continues directly into a passage that later, in typescript, runs continuously from 353.31 through 355.28. It appears that there were more pages, but no further holograph leaves have been located. This is a significant passage of the narrative, involving Montag’s conversations with Clarisse McClellan.

360.29 “Where are your friends?” he asked.] Context requires Montag’s question, but it is missing entirely from the “Long After Midnight” typescript. It is recovered from the first of three continuous holograph pages (in Bradbury’s hand) that survive from an earlier draft. In “The Fireman,” Bradbury inserted a revised form of this question: “Yes. But what about your friends?”

362.29–363.12 He lay there…no other way.] In the typescript photocopy, this run of text reveals a great deal of bridged and perhaps unsettled revision. The first sentence seems to have been added to the bottom margin of leaf 21; the rest of this run is typed on a cut-down half-leaf and the top third of an unfinished leaf. Full-page running text begins again on leaf 24.

371.9–373.25 “You needed to be put straight…a fire siren.] Five typescript leaves post-date the complete “Long After Midnight” typescript, and represent two stages of revision for the final pages of Part One. They may be discards from the next stage of work—the revised “Fireman” version that he sent on to his New York agent, Don Congdon, for re-typing and circulation during September 1950. These discard fragments are part of the “Long After Midnight” photocopy nest.

371.25 a copy of the Bible,] In the typescript here and at 365.11, Bradbury has interlined “the Bible” by hand over the original reading of “Shakespeare” as he revised Leahy’s first rather gentle interrogation of Montag. In “The Fireman” text, the book title isn’t mentioned.

376.29–382.6 He dialed the call through…”You’re wrong, but you’re right.] A nearly continuous nine-leaf run of unnumbered draft pages for the Montag-Faber meeting survives within the “Long After Midnight” photocopy typescript. In the closing page of the draft sequence, Faber appears weaker than in the final typescript: “During the night I may become afraid for my body again and never speak to you again. I may freeze up…I may refuse to act along with you, later. I am completely undependable. A little too much adrenalin in my blood and I may pop into my rabbit hole.” But the draft sequence also contains a longer historical commentary by Faber that drops out of the final typescript run.

378.4 “You’d never miss me.”] The word “miss” was unintentionally omitted from the final typed version; it is recovered from the first page of the nine-leaf draft sequence described above.

378.6–18 Once as a child…I must.] The childhood memory of the sieve and sand paradox opens the second draft page that survives for this portion of the “Long After Midnight” narrative. The page is titled, in capitals, the sieve and the sand, and in the draft this may have been the opening passage of Part Two; if so, the opening reverie would parallel the dream opening of Part One. In the final typescript Bradbury decided to establish Faber’s identity and the need for the visit before the reverie passage.

378.15 The sieve was empty.] In the draft run of pages for this portion of the typescript, Bradbury inserted an offset note to himself before going on with the text: note for use in later scene: repeat this tale? but have him think, yes? “son, there is a way to fill the sieve with sand, wet the sand!” This idea was not worked into any subsequent stages of the Fahrenheit core texts.

379.33–383.5 A good many thousand…that was how the night felt.] Six unnumbered leaves within the “Long After Midnight” photocopy nest represent post-typescript revisions toward the next stage of work—“The Fireman” text. The revisions run more or less continuously through the second half of Montag’s meeting with Faber, and may be discards from the typescript sent to his agent’s office for re-typing prior to circulation.

381.11–13 “By that time…empty and silent.] In the surviving draft sequence, Faber went further in describing the internal collapse of quality media literature:
        “By that time the great mass of people had been so pulverized by the onslaught of comic books, quick digests, digest of digest, musical reviews and dramas that were so swift and blatant that pace was substituted for content, that public libraries were suddenly as unnecessary as umbrellas in the great Sahara.”

381.15–20 “Can you shout…the T-V?”] The draft version of Faber’s response is less rhetorical, longer, and far more revealing:
      “In the year 2030, Montag, there were only two reputable magazines left on the magazine stands, the rest were true love and sex magazines, the time had come when women with breasts were on every cover of every magazine, bar none, the billboards of the country, as today, were full of women posturing to advertise everything from crankcases to adding machines. Motion pictures that dared to advertise honestly, without the modicum of sex, or a bucketful of it, went down the drain. Fact books outsold fiction ten to one. People were interested only in how-to-do-books, the realm of the imagination was over and done for. That meant anything as unreal as philosophy, too, for if you couldn’t diagram it with nut A fitting bolt A and tab B going in slot C, they didn’t want it. The American nation was busy sliding under cars to hammer at the engine bloc or adjust a screw of a bolt. American women lived in beauty salons. Everyone lived in television parlors.”

383.17–388.23 At eight o’clock…The door slammed.] Nine leaves of fragment drafts survive for the scene where Montag interrupts Mildred’s television party and reads the Matthew Arnold poem “Dover Beach” to the stunned housewives. Points of variation identifying these leaves as drafts include the name Jesse, which was Bradbury’s earliest name for Leonard Montag. The text of the Arnold poem is not extant in these draft pages.

384.4 to bake] The infinitive appears to have been lost through an end-line overrun on Bradbury’s typewriter; the entire sentence survives in the draft pages for the “Dover Beach” scene that survive within the “Long After Midnight” typescript photocopy.

386.5–8 Yes, everything easy…and did nothing.] In the earlier draft fragments, Montag’s unspoken reaction to the women’s aversion to normal childbirth was originally much longer and emotionally-charged:
        Yes, everything must be easy. And don’t you see the pitfall of it, he asked them, silently. To make life easy [is] to make life dull. To mistake the easy way for the right way, how delicious a temptation, but you are not living that way. Oh, I’m not asking you to suffer Job’s wounds (yes, I’ve read Job, recently) or go down a track with a pack on your back. But women who have children by Caesarian section rather than suffer a few good normal (it’s been going on a million years after all) birth pangs, there is no word for them. They skirt contempt. Women as healthy and hipped like a dinosaur, asking for a scalpel instead of a hand to bear down on. And men are no better, everything removed away from a person, everyone so impersonalized that there no longer is identity with any task. The proprietor of a chain drug, what does he care for the chain, for the masses of people who come and go through his place like a shot of mercury. The druggist who owned his own store belonged. These people do not belong. They are passing through. Wasn’t there a song, we’re on we’re on, we’re on our way to nowhere in particular? These people are expendables instead of lovables. That is our plight.

386.34–388.2 He read:…He stopped reading.] The “Long After Midnight” typescript photocopy lacks Montag’s reading of Matthew Arnold’s “Dover Beach.” Presumably, it was intended to be tipped in between “He read:” (which ends one page) and “He stopped reading” (which begins another page). The entire poem would take two pages in Bradbury’s double-spaced typing format. But since none of the leaves in Part Two are numbered, it is impossible to know if the entire poem was inserted across two pages, or if a partial reading was intended, as we find in both “The Fireman” and Fahrenheit 451. The single-page fragment of the “Dover Beach” reading in the Ignorant Armies nest suggests that in the early stages of work, Bradbury intended a full reading of the poem. On that basis, the full text of “Dover Beach,” taken from Bradbury’s preferred source (Untermeyer’s Treasury of Great Poems), is inserted into the “Long After Midnight” narrative at this point.

394.1 Chapter Three] The title page for Part Three (still called Chapter Three here) contains Bradbury’s handwritten calculations of word count. The result is 23,920 words, calculated from 92 pages and 260 words per page. The count was probably made before Bradbury finished the novella; the unnumbered page 93 is a cut-down partial page of text, and Bradbury may have made the count to that point of composition. The title page and its calculations may date from the nine-day period of composition in the UCLA typing room, which is the immediate source of the “Long After Midnight” typescript.

402.16 Mr. Leonard Montag,] The “Long After Midnight” typescript reads “Mr. Jesse Montag” at this point. Jesse was Montag’s original first name, and it appears several times in the early draft fragments that survive within the typescript photocopy. This is the only time that the original name appears in the final typescript; the page (unnumbered leaf 83) ends at a paragraph only three-quarters down the page. Taken together, these clues indicate that leaf 83 was probably pulled forward intact from the earlier draft materials—a legacy, perhaps, of the original nine-day UCLA typing stint.

403.17 The boat floated easily] This sentence opens a new page (unnumbered leaf 85) in the typescript photocopy. The brief bridging paragraph describing Montag’s successful search for a boat along the bank may have been accidentally dropped in preparing the typescript, or it may not have been composed yet. The missing paragraph first appears in the Galaxy magazine text of “The Fireman.”

409.14 “Just wait, that’s all.”] The unnumbered leaf 93 is only three-quarters full, and was probably a temporary bridge within the “Long After Midnight” typescript. A single post-typescript leaf survives in the Albright photocopy of the typescript nest, and that leaf contains Bradbury’s expansion of the narrative as he worked past “Long After Midnight” to finalize the novella as “The Fireman.” This passage, verging on the point where the bombs begin to fall on the city below, may have been one of the first points where Bradbury began to refine the “Long After Midnight” typescript.

410.26–29 But Faber was out. There,…make it.] Bradbury’s page count notes (discussed above) and the possible break in the typescript photocopy at leaf [93] suggest that the final six pages (unnumbered 94–99) may incorporate revisions toward the unlocated “Fireman” typescript that he sent off to his agent in September 1950. This passage represents just such a revision. On leaf [82], it is clear that Faber is to lay low and remain in his house for the foreseeable future, but here on leaf [95], Faber has slipped out of town on the dawn train. In “The Fireman,” Bradbury completed this revision by revising the earlier passage as well.

“The Fireman”

 

415.1 The four men sat silently playing blackjack] Montag’s nightmare, which opens both the original “Long After Midnight” typescript and the revised opening fragment, disappears from the beginning of “The Fireman.” The published text opens in the firehouse, with Montag thinking about his most recent book burning.

415.20 Leahy, the fire chief.] In both “Long After Midnight” and “The Fireman,” Leahy is Montag’s immediate superior, chief tormentor and counterpoint to Professor Faber. Bradbury changed the chief’s name to Beatty for Fahrenheit 451 and made him one of the most recognized names in the world of Dystopic fiction.

429.18 “Yes…Plato and Socrates and Marcus Aurelius.”] Mildred’s follow-on comment (“Foreigners?”) is even more jarring here than in the earlier “Long After Midnight” text, where she was at least able to distinguish Plato (“Wasn’t he a European?”) from Poe and Shakespeare.

435.2–3 a fireman ‘takes’ a book, at a fire, almost by ‘accident.’] During this first indirect interrogation of Montag, Leahy does not name a specific book when he describes the 24-hour amnesty policy for a fireman who is tempted to examine the books he burns. In “Long After Midnight,” Bradbury had Leahy use the hypothetical example of Shakespeare, but then crossed it out and inserted the Bible. This is the book that Montag has taken from his last burning, and he will take it along on his visit to Professor Faber’s house before he finally turns it in to Leahy for destruction. At all these turns, Bradbury substituted the Bible for Shakespeare as he moved forward with “The Fireman.”

437.16–25 “And evening vanish…The shadow of the night comes on…”] Montag has blindly chosen lines from Archibald MacLeish’s “You, Andrew Marvel” (1930) for Mildred to read. In “Long After Midnight,” the readings came from the Book of Proverbs (15:2–4). In his revisions for Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury heightens Mildred’s bewilderment by changing the random reading to a contextless fragment of satire from Book 1 of Gulliver’s Travels.

441.26 copies of the Bible] Originally, in “Long After Midnight,” Montag had asked Faber how many copies of the works of Shakespeare were left in the world. From here through his visit with Faber and his eventual surrender of the book to Leahy, all the allusions had been to Shakespeare in the “Long After Midnight” text.

443.19–20 “Behold, the lilies of the field—”] In “Long After Midnight,” where Montag has taken the works of Shakespeare instead of the Bible, Bradbury has him trying to recall (over the din of the Denham’s Dentifrice ad) Hamlet’s third soliloquy instead of Matthew 6:28.

446.11–12 Shakespeare or Pirandello.] The list of playwrights had also included George Bernard Shaw in the “Long After Midnight” typescript.

447.12–33 Montag paced…I can’t take any more of this.] Faber’s decision to help Montag has little motivation in “Long After Midnight.” But as he revised for “The Fireman,” Bradbury created this pivotal final argument—Montag begins to destroy the last known copy of the Bible in front of Faber’s eyes to remind him “what it means to have your heart torn out.”

449.20 Book of Job] In the earlier “Long After Midnight” typescript, Montag has the works of Shakespeare instead of the Bible, and reads to himself from King Lear instead of Job.

450.2 to remember Job, for instance,] Montag was trying to memorize plays of Shakespeare rather than books of the Bible in “Long After Midnight.” The example in the earlier text was Hamlet.

453.1–19 “The Sea of Faith…Where ignorant armies clash by night.”] Matthew Arnold’s “Dover Beach” is the central tie that binds all four of the core Fahrenheit texts. For “The Fireman,” Bradbury focused on the final two stanzas, and the original Galaxy printing follows Bradbury’s preferred source (Untermeyer’s A Treasury of Great Poems). Although the poem’s final lines provide one of the best-known anticipations of the failures of the modern world, the third stanza presents the “crisis of values” metaphor that had motivated Bradbury from the beginning. In their notes to this poem, Walter Houghton and G. Robert Stange interpret Arnold’s ebbing Sea of Faith in just the way that Bradbury himself understood it: “Though what is retreating is mainly religious faith, it is also faith of any kind, any coherent philosophy of the world which can make life meaningful” (Houghton and Stange, eds., Victorian Poetry and Poetics [Boston: Houghton-Mifflin, 1959], 484n).

454.33 the Bible] Montag turns in a Bible at this point near the end of Part Two; he is implicitly aware that Leahy knows the very title he had taken from the scene of his last burning early in Part One, and that Leahy is simply waiting to see if Montag will surrender it voluntarily. In “Long After Midnight,” Bradbury had initially used Shakespeare instead of the Bible throughout this sequence of events.

459.21 Water, Water, Quench Fire] Bradbury’s new title for Part Three replaces the earlier “Long After Midnight” title, Books Without Pages.

467.8–24 “Try the factory section,…across the country.”] Bradbury added Faber’s description of the Book People at this point in “The Fireman” text, along with the discussion of Faber’s plan to leave the city. Faber’s underestimation of the organization and long-range planning of the Book People effectively sets the stage for Granger’s subsequent revelations to Montag.

470.32 the Seashell at his ear] In the earlier “Long After Midnight” typescript photocopy, the little radio is called a Thimble; this was apparently an early shape-name for the device, which in an earlier passage of “Long After Midnight” was already being referred to as a Seashell. In “The Fireman,” the shape-name is “Seashell” six times; Millie’s ear-piece is called a “Thimble” once in Part One (412.22), but the older term carries through at no other points.

472.24 “My name is Granger,] Although this is an alias, the name Granger becomes a distinct identity for the leader of the Book People. In the earlier “Long After Midnight” version, the leader remains indistinguishable by name: “We’re all named Smith. That’s the way it is.”

474.14 “My real name is Clement,] Granger’s former professorship is the same in both “The Fireman” and “Long After Midnight,” but in the earlier work he gives his real surname as Stewart.

474.34–35 the Book of Job, but I haven’t even got that now.”] In “Long After Midnight,” his escape in the river had brought the Book of Job firmly back into his memory. This mastery sealed his new life with the Book People. For “The Fireman,” Bradbury left Montag textless when he joins the Book People, but Granger offers the possibility of hypnosis and assures Montag that “It’ll come when we need it.” Later, when the bombs suddenly fall on the distant city, the shock provides the necessary stimulus for Montag’s memory: “Now I remember another thing. Now I remember the Book of Job” (471.18–19).

476.16 “And John Dewey.”] In revising for “The Fireman,” Bradbury substituted the philosophical pragmatism of John Dewey in place of the far more problematic implications of Nietzche and his works.

476.25–29 And I am…Shakespeare.] Granger’s literary identities are different in the “Long After Midnight” typescript photocopy. In that earlier version, he is not the Biblical Ruth, and his bits and pieces include “snatches of Byron and Shaw and Washington and Galileo and DaVinci and Washington Irving.”

477.8–23 But our way is simpler…forever.] Granger’s highly detailed account of how the Book People survived, and how they plan to re-kindle literature in the future, was greatly expanded as Bradbury revised toward “The Fireman” text. The far shorter account in “Long After Midnight” (401.16–20) is only one sentence in length.

484.1–4 “To everything there is a season…a time to heal…”] Montag’s scattershot sequence of literary fragments offered in “Long After Midnight” is compressed in “The Fireman” to three verses from Ecclesiastes (3:1–3). Other voices from the Book People then contribute passages from their own literary identities in a more natural and dramatic moment of collaborative recitation. This passage was reworked yet again for Fahrenheit 451, where the voices of the other Book People are replaced by Montag’s expanding recollection of Biblical texts—the lines from Ecclesiastes lead him to recall Revelation 22:2 (the healing of nations) as the novel closes.


[image] Dust Jacket of A Sound of Thunder[image] Dust Jacket of The Golden Apples of the Sun[image] Dust Jacket of Something Wicked This Way Comes[image] Dust Jacket of Fahrenheit 451[image] Dust Jacket of R is for Rocket[image] Dust Jacket of The Martin Chronicles[image] Dust Jacket of Dandelion Wine